Macro Monday: 148

So I hope the first week of 2015 is treating you well! Lets get our laugh on shall we?


 Kanye Gifs always


This made me laugh more than it should.




Worrying!



Great comeback



Aw



 Love this


 lol


We all remember that look.






 My favourite gif set!


lol



 lol


Bad girls club.


Ah ahah 

Have an amazing week you beautiful people!

How To Survive an Occasion...


There are the good ones, the bad ones, and the down right ugly ones. But occasions we have to attend are inevitable. Being the start of the year, we are going to give our tips on how to survive them! Birthdays are fairly predictable, Funerals, though not pleasant are fairly straight forward. The hardest thing to navigate is the wedding. 




Weddings

What to wear. 

 
Comparatively simple for the bride, utter nightmare for everyone else. Have a look at what the bridesmaids are wearing, or what the colour scheme is for the wedding or the flowers. A good tip is to stock up on summer/evening dresses in the January sales (so now!) Because you know that it's always the way, none for years and then six in one summer! 


 Go for pretty, delicate, non slutty, unagressive styles like the above. If you struggle in heels make sure you are wearing something comfortable. You will most likely be on your feet late into the day and night.  

Play fair: don't try and upstage the bride, and although you can wear white and black to weddings, it's bad form to do so. You don't have to wear hats to a wedding, but it is a good excuse to. (See our post on hats here!)

RSVP

You really need to RVSP promptly and politely to wedding invitations, whether you want to go or not. When replying to the invite casually call and find out a little bit more about the wedding. This can influence your dress code, do you take a shawl? will there be grass, cobbles etc to navigate in heels?


Wedding Lists

If they have a wedding list, go for it. Give them what they want, and save yourself hours of agony. If all you can afford is a sugar bowl lid, so be it. 


 Food
Have a full english breakfast in the morning as you don't know when you will see food again. There is the service, the photos, the line up, all manner of rituals and alcoholic moments to get through before you taste a morsel. Line your stomach. 




Being Single

For some reason being single at a wedding is SO much worse than being single at any other time. Never go to a wedding alone, seriously. Traditions say that this is the place to meet your potential partner, and if this is the case you don't want anyone cramping your style? I would take your best boy friend, your gay best friend, SOMEONE, honestly. Make sure however you have a plus one, often weddings are extremely tight on seating etc, so don't just roll up with a guest. So why not go alone if you want to meet your mate? well a friend will make you seem much more approachable, and you can have a partner in crime for the day. If you are alone you will have to nurse the obligatory flute of champagne, standing alone and a bit like a deer in headlights.

Think Of Others

If you do see someone of their own, go up and say something to them compliment their dress, etc. Make them feel better about being alone! 

Exits 

Know when to leave. It is considered bad luck to leave before the cutting of the cake. Always pre book a cab, why do you think Cinderella caused such a sensation at the ball? She left early. Always leave people wanting more. If you arrive knowing when you are leaving you can calculate how long can mingle, how long you can drink, how long you can charm etc! 




 What to Say...

In case you get tongue tied, glazed over, or are really quite drunk, have a prepared conversation opener in your mind:


Bride: You look beautiful, who made your dress?
Groom: She looks beautiful, where did you get her ring?

Best Man: Great speech, got any friends? 
In laws bride side: You must be very proud
In laws grooms side: You must be very relieved. 



Funerals

A solemn, sad and much more straightforward event. Wear black day wear not evening wear, and not too tarty. Think demure rather than black widow. Think soft make up, think water proof mascara. 

Think hats, or a black tulle side veil. 

Take inspiration from Jackie O at JFK's funeral, think Princess Diana at Gianni Versace's funeral.

Take tissues; if you don't need them someone else will. 


Pre order flowers. 

Never turn up late. 

Wakes: Go - but not for long. 

Don't mention money, or settling old scores.


 Birthdays

Men carelessly forget the, while women try to and cannot. Birthdays herald another year has passed, another wrinkle, another wealth of experience, another chapter in life's rich tapestry. On your birthday write a list of things you want to achieve in the coming year - and review it on your next birthday to where life has taken you. 

Write down all you friends' birthdays in your address book, as not to forget (facebook may tell you, but send a card!) Send it with diamonds, send it with cake, say it with meaning! 

Anyone can remember Christmas. Birthdays are for the individual so that day must be special for them. 


'Tis better to give than to receive. Try to give something unique and reflects how you feel about them. Cakes and candles are always essential. Other than the early years, 18, 21, 30, 40, 50, and 60 are the only birthdays that really matter, the only ones that really need the big party etc.

You are only these ages ONCE, PARTY! 

Hope our tips help you a little!






 

Macro Monday - 147

Happy New Year Kids! If it's been your first day back at school/work/college/Uni/whatever then it might be a tough day - so grab a cuppa and have a laugh! It's Macro Monday

The fact it has likes it's insane!


 Best insult ever.


So, so bad.




 Good call.


 love Judge Judy


 Adore this photo.


 Cure for everything.


lol



I'm with blue shirt.




Oh Karl



 lol



Oh Kanye 
 

 haha


Gotta love dads.

See ya next week!

Things NOT To Do After A Break-Up


Don’t listen to Beyoncé’s “I Miss You”

There are a whole slew of songs you should steer clear of during a break up. Like, I don’t know, ANYTHING ever recorded, EVER, by Celine Dion? Or “All By Myself” by Eric Carmen—that’ll do a real number on you. “Thinkin’ Bout You” by Frank Ocean, “Everytime” by Britney Spears, the list goes on. But perhaps the worst song you could ever listen to is Beyoncé’s “I Miss You” (re: “I thought that things like this get better with time / But I still need you, why is that? / You’re the only image in my mind / So I still see you…around / I miss you like everyday / Wanna be with you, but you’re away / Said I miss you, missing you insane / But if I got with you, could it feel the same?”). Instant tears. Don’t do it.

 Avoid third wheeling

Which, let me tell you, gets harder and harder with each passing day as all of your best friends get plucked up like little lilacs out of dirt. Still, you’re going to want to avoid this if, for nothing else, than to shroud your poor ears from cutesy nicknames or from the song that they plan to play at their unplanned wedding. Which brings me to the next one...

Don’t go to weddings

Do I really need to explain this one?


Don’t go cray cray on your ex

Easier said than done, but still worth reiterating. If you’re about to send him a I NEED YOU I LOVE YOU, I HATE YOU in text message form, send it to your best friend instead. It’s much harder for a friend to break up with you.

Don’t wallow…especially in his clothes

If you happen to have sartorial remnants of your ex scattered about your home, you’re going to want to gather them all up and put them in a safe, yet unreachable spot. The urge to wear his underwear and t-shirts around the house—to casually roll around with them in bed and smell them until your nostril hairs are burned off—will be strong. Exercise restraint.


Don’t force yourself to have casual sex

Because chances are you’ll start crying, try to spoon him after, or something weird like that. Not a good look.

But also, don’t dive right into another relationship...

The pleasure and sense of relief you might get by doing this will be strong, but fleeting. It’s like the whole band-aid solution—you’re not allowing yourself to fully heal from the break up.

Don’t stalk him

That means on social media or in person. After a break up it’s easy to slip imperceptibly into Swimfan mode without even realising it. Well take note—DON’T. Don’t get into the habit of checking his Facebook page every time you sign in, because this will soon become second nature and, eventually, an impulse you’ll perform like clockwork. But also, don’t underestimate the weirdness of stalking in person too. Don’t be that girl who shows up to a party he’s at and stands in the corner the whole time watching his every move. Know why? Because it’s creepy.


Don’t sift through your old photos

There’s a reason for the phrase, “A picture tells a thousand stories.” Pictures are able to tell a ton of stories because you can extend your imagination and suspend disbelief. Looking at old photos won’t bring to mind that time he cheated on you. Looking at old photos of you and your ex will help you forget the bad times, remember the good times, and cloak all of your memories in illusions.

Don’t try and show off “how happy you are” via social media

You might not think it’s transparent, but trust me, it is.
 
Don’t “oops wrong text” him

Girl, I KNOW I didn’t just hear what I think I heard. That you intentionally sent him the text message that was meant for your best friend. I know right now it seems like a great jealousy-inducing ploy, texting him, “Hey, you on your way?” followed by a “oops wrong text,” but in actuality, it’s not. It is obvious.

Don’t expect any grand gestures

Again, with the whole suspending disbelief thing—just don’t do it. After break ups it’s easy to let yourself slip into romantic mode and be consumed by fantasies. Well, snap out of it. When you open your front door tonight, do you know what won’t be at home waiting for you? Your ex, with a bouquet of flowers, a hand-written sonnet and a bathtub filled with fluff. Don’t get it twisted.

Tale as old as time.

Clichéd, annoying, and frustrating. Time heels, the above things help speed the process. You will be OK, you will love again, and you will happy.












Macro Monday - 146!

So it's Christmas this week - how is that possible? well start your week with a laugh it's Macro Monday time!


 This is the perfect jumper!


 Cat In a Bread Bin


Oh shit.



I find this funnier than I should



What?!


 lol


 haha



 All the cute



 THIS GIF



LOL



 So true.


haha



Oh dads!

Have a gorgeous Christmas!